31 October 2009, 3:22 PM
Honestly, I have nothing more to say. The past recent weeks were much more compared to the previous few months. So does this imply that the next few days will be so so much more than the week itself? I never knew what was going behind, I only kept myself to the surface of the jar. I never wanted to find out about the contents, and I didn't think it would even change this much. So, nothing else to say.
Sigherz.
All thanks to the bleacher steps that killed my calves, now my calves are killing me.
December 12th. Sigh. CANNOT
Sigherz.
All thanks to the bleacher steps that killed my calves, now my calves are killing me.
December 12th. Sigh. CANNOT
28 October 2009, 10:44 PM
I've been waking up at 7 plus every day and sleeping at like close to 1 every night for this past week. I'm so drained :( Now's about 2318 and I'm thinking of ponning tmr's lecture. Cos school at 8 means waking up at 630 in the morning. Srsly.... Damn turn off. Dilemma I don't know what to do! I'm so lazy to even take my phone up and reply ppl's msges zzz the devil has taken over me
Today's round at Sgh was fruitful cos firstly the staff there were much nicer :} Erhem yea and we got to see a lot more patients although they had similar conditions but they received different treatment altgt it was a good experience although I was sheet white due to the poor ventilation in the wards I almost puked omg but Geriatrics is always nice cos old people are always cute :} Hahaha though it scared me a little to see fresh wounds and how tiny their muscles shrank to, like worse than anorexic models. Damn bad zzz I will never want to be like that.
School is sucking my blood up. Nowadays I don't even want to use the computer anymore I just think of heading to my bed to crash after I bathe. And I'm eating like a pig nowadays. Like damn a lot of food my stomach has become a bottomless pit. I can literally see it expand and never deflating. My thighs have promoted itself yet again to the thunder thighs. I am so lazy to train for nyp but I guess I don't have a choice so training starting from next week zzz my hse is really gona be like a hotel soon.
I just pray for a good source of motivation to keep me going through this time.
The time which I'm trying to give up smthg that was once very dear to me. It's like cold turkey the past week and it isn't getting any better. I hope I know what I'm doing. I don't want to regret this. How I wish everyth was just meant to be, then I don't need to go through this torment anymore. I will let it decide for me instead.
Sadly, life ain't a bed of roses, ain't it.
I always end up as the unlucky one.
Today's round at Sgh was fruitful cos firstly the staff there were much nicer :} Erhem yea and we got to see a lot more patients although they had similar conditions but they received different treatment altgt it was a good experience although I was sheet white due to the poor ventilation in the wards I almost puked omg but Geriatrics is always nice cos old people are always cute :} Hahaha though it scared me a little to see fresh wounds and how tiny their muscles shrank to, like worse than anorexic models. Damn bad zzz I will never want to be like that.
School is sucking my blood up. Nowadays I don't even want to use the computer anymore I just think of heading to my bed to crash after I bathe. And I'm eating like a pig nowadays. Like damn a lot of food my stomach has become a bottomless pit. I can literally see it expand and never deflating. My thighs have promoted itself yet again to the thunder thighs. I am so lazy to train for nyp but I guess I don't have a choice so training starting from next week zzz my hse is really gona be like a hotel soon.
I just pray for a good source of motivation to keep me going through this time.
The time which I'm trying to give up smthg that was once very dear to me. It's like cold turkey the past week and it isn't getting any better. I hope I know what I'm doing. I don't want to regret this. How I wish everyth was just meant to be, then I don't need to go through this torment anymore. I will let it decide for me instead.
Sadly, life ain't a bed of roses, ain't it.
I always end up as the unlucky one.
25 October 2009, 1:19 AM
How can you say you're certain if you do not show it at all? I guess this question about her will bug me for until I'm over it.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
20 October 2009, 11:26 PM
So school has been pretty bitchy since I had to wake up at like 730am for both mornings.. Haven't done so in a while. So seeing the morning sun light feels pretty weird. Hahaha I will be a changed man soon! Only for the last lecture today we totally lost concentration. I mean like, how to when it's from 4 - 6 and with short attention span? Definitely not possible.
Anw I'm glad Polite is ending tmr! :} I am like dying from all the running and other external factors that contributes to my fatigue. Zzz I need to take a break.
Oh and btw, it's been about a week alr. Yay I can so do this :)
I need to lose weight. I need to lose 5kg. NOW!!! Everyth that isn't visible can be seen as either protruding lumps of fat or like bulging saggy skin. Damn gross omg. I shld stop my habit of supper + eating after 10pm every night. It's like, killing me :(
Suddenly got craving for pasta after I went to Joanne's place to eat the pasta that her mom cooked. Hahaha I liked it a lot just that the portion was like um.. equals to feeding pigs = Joanne. Haha! Joanne I want to eat the pasta againnnnnnnnnnn (I know you find this annoying LOL)
Lastly, I need to buy bottoms and I need to tan!!!
Anw I'm glad Polite is ending tmr! :} I am like dying from all the running and other external factors that contributes to my fatigue. Zzz I need to take a break.
Oh and btw, it's been about a week alr. Yay I can so do this :)
I need to lose weight. I need to lose 5kg. NOW!!! Everyth that isn't visible can be seen as either protruding lumps of fat or like bulging saggy skin. Damn gross omg. I shld stop my habit of supper + eating after 10pm every night. It's like, killing me :(
Suddenly got craving for pasta after I went to Joanne's place to eat the pasta that her mom cooked. Hahaha I liked it a lot just that the portion was like um.. equals to feeding pigs = Joanne. Haha! Joanne I want to eat the pasta againnnnnnnnnnn (I know you find this annoying LOL)
Lastly, I need to buy bottoms and I need to tan!!!
19 October 2009, 12:38 AM
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Start of school tmr, what a great Monday :( The holidays passed so fast I didn't even enjoy myself enough yet. I just copied my timetable from the web and its so discouraging looking at what time we end and worse, what time I have to wake up cos school starts at insane hours. Plus I copied the timetable blindly and I only realised that we have 2 week break in from week 10-11. I'm looking forward to it but its so far away omg...
Hell gates officially open for me tmr. I am going to be a mugger!!!
That's what I've been saying for the past 5 years of my life and till now I've never achieved it.. Naise joke there.
Then after school got game against Rp. Zzz going to be some dead zombie there.
Kayzers gona pack my bag and get my 5 hours of sleep soon!
Start of school tmr, what a great Monday :( The holidays passed so fast I didn't even enjoy myself enough yet. I just copied my timetable from the web and its so discouraging looking at what time we end and worse, what time I have to wake up cos school starts at insane hours. Plus I copied the timetable blindly and I only realised that we have 2 week break in from week 10-11. I'm looking forward to it but its so far away omg...
Hell gates officially open for me tmr. I am going to be a mugger!!!
That's what I've been saying for the past 5 years of my life and till now I've never achieved it.. Naise joke there.
Then after school got game against Rp. Zzz going to be some dead zombie there.
Kayzers gona pack my bag and get my 5 hours of sleep soon!
16 October 2009, 1:54 AM
What if... You're not a pig? Would you stop calling yourself one anymore?
Today I had a bad afternoon when I woke up.
1) When I moved my legs it was damn zzz I was so lazy to move out of my bed.
2) Walking out of my room my dad started to nag at me blahblahblah I didn't catch what was he saying I say went to do the usuals then came back to the room and locked the door. He's so much more naggy than my mom ytd when I woke up he was watching crime watch then he started to nag (again -_-) about how dangerous it is at night and ask me to come home earlier blahblahblah. So irritating. Angry.
3) The whole laptop hanged and the screen fuzzed up I thought wtf was wrong with the com again and I has to restart the com, and I lost some stuff again zzz
4) Nice msg there you sent me.
Anw my anger only lasted for a while cos I figured it wasn't worth it to get angry and ruin my day. Met Kim in the evening then we were just talking crap and laughing a lot at many things haha then we had to leave early to take the last bus home.
& I am srsly broke ttm srsly its no joke now. I just spent 200$ naise shit just when I have money again I splurge as though I have one million in my account right now. Sigh stupid habit will never change. Now I have to scrimp and save till next week if not I'll be eating bread crumbs for all 3 meals. Zzz
Ogay I need someone to send me this song its rather nice haha some kind soul please send thanks :}
If i walk would you run
If i stop would you come
If i say you're the one would you believe me
If i ask you to stay would you show me the way
Tell me what to say so you don't leave me
The world is catching up to you
While your running away to chase your dream
It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change
And maybe i'm not ready
But i'm trying for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough
If i sing you a song would you sing along
Or wait till i'm gone, oh how we push and pull
If i give you my heart would you just play the part
Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful
Am i catching up to you
While your running away, to chase your dreams
It's time for us to face the truth cause we are coming to each other to change
And maybe i'm not ready
But i'm trying for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough
I will try for your love
I can hide up above
If i walk would you run
If i stop would you come
If i say you're the one would you believe me
K tmr game again I'm gona take my beauty sleep now hehe gnight :)
Today I had a bad afternoon when I woke up.
1) When I moved my legs it was damn zzz I was so lazy to move out of my bed.
2) Walking out of my room my dad started to nag at me blahblahblah I didn't catch what was he saying I say went to do the usuals then came back to the room and locked the door. He's so much more naggy than my mom ytd when I woke up he was watching crime watch then he started to nag (again -_-) about how dangerous it is at night and ask me to come home earlier blahblahblah. So irritating. Angry.
3) The whole laptop hanged and the screen fuzzed up I thought wtf was wrong with the com again and I has to restart the com, and I lost some stuff again zzz
4) Nice msg there you sent me.
Anw my anger only lasted for a while cos I figured it wasn't worth it to get angry and ruin my day. Met Kim in the evening then we were just talking crap and laughing a lot at many things haha then we had to leave early to take the last bus home.
& I am srsly broke ttm srsly its no joke now. I just spent 200$ naise shit just when I have money again I splurge as though I have one million in my account right now. Sigh stupid habit will never change. Now I have to scrimp and save till next week if not I'll be eating bread crumbs for all 3 meals. Zzz
Ogay I need someone to send me this song its rather nice haha some kind soul please send thanks :}
If i walk would you run
If i stop would you come
If i say you're the one would you believe me
If i ask you to stay would you show me the way
Tell me what to say so you don't leave me
The world is catching up to you
While your running away to chase your dream
It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change
And maybe i'm not ready
But i'm trying for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough
If i sing you a song would you sing along
Or wait till i'm gone, oh how we push and pull
If i give you my heart would you just play the part
Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful
Am i catching up to you
While your running away, to chase your dreams
It's time for us to face the truth cause we are coming to each other to change
And maybe i'm not ready
But i'm trying for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough
I will try for your love
I can hide up above
If i walk would you run
If i stop would you come
If i say you're the one would you believe me
K tmr game again I'm gona take my beauty sleep now hehe gnight :)
15 October 2009, 2:01 AM
My legs and back are breaking... I want to go for a massage soon omg. Second game today only and I'm already feeling so sore. Now my alternate days become rest days I am starting my no life phase zzzzzz
13 October 2009, 9:24 PM
People are amazing in the way we interact with one another. Our relationship with each other is as vulnerable as glass. As rock solid we may seem on the surface, the faster we are to crumble and shatter due to a slight misunderstandings or even personal grudges against each other. Why is it that our feelings towards each other may vary base on superficiality or just pure biasness? Beneath the facade our true feelings mature and as we do so we learn how to dislike, hate, despise and judge base on our assumptions that could lead to further disappointment in others or even ourselves. I don't see the link to how two can get so close one moment and the next spilt second these memories vanish and they become accomplices who can't seem to look at each other in the eyes. I also can't seem to comprehend changes, it's as though I have never seen this cynical side of you. All your flaws were blinded by imperfect vision as I continued to live in a world of doubt and hope. As much as I pray for all of this to be a dream, a punch directed at my head a few moments ago told me that hey, this is the fucking harsh reality. Accept it, you dickhead.
12 October 2009, 1:39 AM
Down.
Today's game was quite excite, and although we lost it we all still felt okay :} Hahaha I bet I look like some dying dog on court, really no joke when you play for all 4 quarters I couldn't even be bothered to run haha omg it was rather embarsassing but I'm glad it's over. There's always Ivp and by then I make sure I don't play all 4 quarters again. Hee hee.
My legs are so sore now and my eyes are can't open much but I can't sleep yet cos I just ate a bowl of Kimchi noodles and I'm refusing to sleep cos I will put on a few pounds if I do so. Zzz it's going to 3am and I srsly need to tune back my body clock for school next week.
& by the way I am mega pissed at our timetable?!?! Now who the hell is the timetable committee I want to make a complain here. Why is it programmed till you deprive me of my life?! I need my social life hello I cannot live just studying and going to school everyday I need to like go out with friends etc. But I can't do so with school starting 8/9am everyday and ending the EARLIEST at what, 4pm?!? Nice bullshit nonsense there. I was quite glad when we don't have school on Wednesday BUT, I REALISED. Attachment's day = Wednesday. FML. I srsly cannot live with this timetable. It wasn't even that hectic during jc, and not like the workload is very little it's an intimidating pile of unknown contents of I don't know what. With this timetable I can srsly lead a MIA lifestyle even my parents won't know where I am. And to think I wanted to find a job so I can save up for my endless love for shopping and an overseas trip, you tell me how am I supposed to do so??!?!?! Unless I don't sleep at night which probably won't work because I'm a pig.
Zomg..... I can totally picture myself for the next sem. Let's see. A wannabe mugger wearing same clothes to school everyday, going home after school to mug somemore in the hope of saving her pathetic gpa... I am so looking forward to this phase of my life. Awesome isn't it.
Okay enough of plain sarcasm and wild imagination. I shall worry about it when the time comes. No use thinking about it now I won't let it affect me. Good positive thinking there. Hahaha.
Anw I just wanted to say that I've wasted my past few months because I thought it was smthg different, but in fact who was I to kid. It was all the same. What took me by surprise was it became worse than before. Now I can't even have that respect for you its so hard to look at you in the face and say 'look, stoibef'.
Today's game was quite excite, and although we lost it we all still felt okay :} Hahaha I bet I look like some dying dog on court, really no joke when you play for all 4 quarters I couldn't even be bothered to run haha omg it was rather embarsassing but I'm glad it's over. There's always Ivp and by then I make sure I don't play all 4 quarters again. Hee hee.
My legs are so sore now and my eyes are can't open much but I can't sleep yet cos I just ate a bowl of Kimchi noodles and I'm refusing to sleep cos I will put on a few pounds if I do so. Zzz it's going to 3am and I srsly need to tune back my body clock for school next week.
& by the way I am mega pissed at our timetable?!?! Now who the hell is the timetable committee I want to make a complain here. Why is it programmed till you deprive me of my life?! I need my social life hello I cannot live just studying and going to school everyday I need to like go out with friends etc. But I can't do so with school starting 8/9am everyday and ending the EARLIEST at what, 4pm?!? Nice bullshit nonsense there. I was quite glad when we don't have school on Wednesday BUT, I REALISED. Attachment's day = Wednesday. FML. I srsly cannot live with this timetable. It wasn't even that hectic during jc, and not like the workload is very little it's an intimidating pile of unknown contents of I don't know what. With this timetable I can srsly lead a MIA lifestyle even my parents won't know where I am. And to think I wanted to find a job so I can save up for my endless love for shopping and an overseas trip, you tell me how am I supposed to do so??!?!?! Unless I don't sleep at night which probably won't work because I'm a pig.
Zomg..... I can totally picture myself for the next sem. Let's see. A wannabe mugger wearing same clothes to school everyday, going home after school to mug somemore in the hope of saving her pathetic gpa... I am so looking forward to this phase of my life. Awesome isn't it.
Okay enough of plain sarcasm and wild imagination. I shall worry about it when the time comes. No use thinking about it now I won't let it affect me. Good positive thinking there. Hahaha.
Anw I just wanted to say that I've wasted my past few months because I thought it was smthg different, but in fact who was I to kid. It was all the same. What took me by surprise was it became worse than before. Now I can't even have that respect for you its so hard to look at you in the face and say 'look, stoibef'.
11 October 2009, 6:57 PM
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Initially I wanted to conclude it as a joke, but Dear it isn't funny when You hit the bag twice. Where did You get all the courage to commit such a pretentious act? All these moments must be dreams of the flawless yet imperfect girl that everyone's been eyeing for. Would You let a little evil pest get in Your way while You indulge in the twist of Your life which You might, might (capitalise) regret forever? I wouldn't exactly beg to differ. Although I pity You as I stand in Your shoes, this pathetic loving isn't going to last long, Honey. Just for Your information no one sane would even bring across this message that I've been struggling to, just for You. Because soon I will be moonstruck if this massacre doesn't end with a burst of sudden realisation of naviety and stupidity. Although I doubt my own capabilty of lasting till then. Your godawful personality will always be perfect in my eyes.
It is time.
07 October 2009, 1:32 AM
Love is gone.
I could try you with a waltz, I could try you rock and roll, I could try you with the blues, If a song would do. I could sing it high or low, when I let you go you know, I thought it was for the best, now it is so obvious. So here it is, here it goes, I could try rock and roll, change your life forever too, if a song could get me you. I could make it high or low, sing it on the radio, if that is what I need to do, if a song could get me you. I could run for miles and miles, I'd take off and I'd start flying, I could cross land and sea, if you just believe me. I should not have hurt you so, this old house is not a home. Without you here, there's no use, I've got no time left to lose. So here it is, here it goes, I could try rock and roll, I would change your life forever too, if a song could get me you. I could make it high or low, sing it on the radio, if that is what I need to do, if a song could get me you. If a song could get me through, I'd sing my way, right back to you. Tell me how, to make it right. Tell me now, I'll start tonight. I know I could make it last. I swear to you that if I knew, what I was getting myself into, I wouldn't answer to my fears. I'd never leave you standing there. Just look at me, if you'd only see me, I would prove my love for you, I could swallow half the moon. Just tell me where, tell me when, I will have you back again. Yeah here it is, here it goes. I could try rock and roll, I would change your life forever too, if a song could get me you. I could make it high or low, sing it on the radio, if that is what I need to do, if a song could get me you.
Aw sucha sweetie this song :}
Okay I'm egging like crazy. My IT Band or whatever you call it is pulling like crazy. I am going to apply yoko yoko before I sleep tonight. Although I just changed my bedsheets this week and its prolly gona stink of it for the next two weeks, but I deem it worth! Damn pain siol lucky we had many people today if not I confirm GGXXNORM.
And did I mention I feel like doing hair extensions HAHAHA cos my hair damn short now damn bad?!?!? I feel very uncomfortable with it zzz I want to do long long hair extensions and make my hair jet black :} Cos I figured like dyed hair is too common so jet black would be a nice change. Hehe but I need money to do my hair zzz maybe next week or until before school reopens. I shall think about it.
I got fat thighs I got fat thighs OMG someone just told me that my thighs are really bigger nao :( :( :( I am damn sad why are my thighs so big and not to mention my tummy's catching up at lightning speed. And one more thing, wtf why am I always so broke?!? I think I always buy the linglong kind of stuff that's why I'm broke. MUST BE IT. Today I just spend 5$ buying nonsense. Zzz
Yay Joanne I got fish & co treat hehehe :} Friday ah!
& I need to find my camera by tmr!!!!!
05 October 2009, 10:07 PM
Sometimes I run, but I'm not afraid. Why must you bring up all the mistakes I've made? She makes me smile, but you come around. The wind in her hair reflects the sunset I see. You make it seem like it was yesterday. But we've come a long way out of the rain. Can't seem to figure out what happens after this. Why can't I? Why must you say I made a mess out of things? I won't believe it. Tonight feels right like I'm dancing on air. I'll make it right, I'll make it right. Pull over to the station and fill up on fuel. And what will I do? Sometimes I drive or ride with my eyes closed tight because if the skyline looks this way then I don't want to sleep tonight. Never giving up, always seeking light, we must always try, try with all our might.
04 October 2009, 5:23 PM
I've been stuffing myself with plenty of mooncakes these few days. A pity I don't appreciate yolks or the doubles but I definitely appreciate the awesomeness of the durian mooncakes :) Hahahaha TIME TO GROW FAT WHOOHOO!!!!!!!
My muscles have been aching from I-don't-know-what-srsly and its damn tight I can't even walk with ease everytime my whole sole touch the ground it hurts like pangsai. Sigh I can't even wriggle in bed cos it hurts. Like damn badly. Zzz like I'm damn angry, cos it means I'm mother unfit!!!! Zzzz ANGRY.
Next week's training is like 2456 damn bad zz I'm like gona pon one of them that's like too much too handle for a 19 year old. Hahaha or rather an unfit 19 year old. Shit I suddenly feel damn old. This is damn bad.
Past few days I've been doing nothing much but I've spent lots of time with my friends so it's good :) Holidays are gona end soon omg its gona zoomz past once polite starts then its academic torture round 2. Zomg FML.
Okay super random post hahahah cos well I've said pretty much everyth already but I like random posts. Teehee.
& just now my hands damn itchy now I lost the whole bunch of new songs that I just got zzzz
Btw I still think Skyline Drive is the best song my Mae beats any song any time \m/
My muscles have been aching from I-don't-know-what-srsly and its damn tight I can't even walk with ease everytime my whole sole touch the ground it hurts like pangsai. Sigh I can't even wriggle in bed cos it hurts. Like damn badly. Zzz like I'm damn angry, cos it means I'm mother unfit!!!! Zzzz ANGRY.
Next week's training is like 2456 damn bad zz I'm like gona pon one of them that's like too much too handle for a 19 year old. Hahaha or rather an unfit 19 year old. Shit I suddenly feel damn old. This is damn bad.
Past few days I've been doing nothing much but I've spent lots of time with my friends so it's good :) Holidays are gona end soon omg its gona zoomz past once polite starts then its academic torture round 2. Zomg FML.
Okay super random post hahahah cos well I've said pretty much everyth already but I like random posts. Teehee.
& just now my hands damn itchy now I lost the whole bunch of new songs that I just got zzzz
Btw I still think Skyline Drive is the best song my Mae beats any song any time \m/
